They can't be serious, right?

So nothing too noteworthy on the guy front. The first guy I went out with seemed like a little eager beaver at first--asked me to his apartment (but we'd been drinking) the first night, called two days after said first date, you know the one. I got the old "I'm going out of town this weekend" line, but he seems nice enough that I believe him. Anywho... said he'd call me while he was out of town, never happened. Haven't heard from him in about a week. What a prick! I was all G.G. and playing by the rules, too! I should have gone home with him after all!

Busy week at work, so haven't had a chance to meet more guys yet. And, you know, Lost is on tonight, and I've gotta watch that shit! Okay... back to my reason for posting.

So I keep getting these dudes who send me messages on the dating site that are so obviously generic and more or less SPAM! Seriously, I get 6 paragraphs all about you and you don't ask me anything specific you've seen in my profile? I mean, might be different if these guys were hot, or even able to speak English, but they're always complete douches!

Here's my example from today. 28 year old "breast surgeon." Wait... hold up. BREAST SURGEON? Like, is that even a term? Are you a plastic surgeon or are you curing cancer? That alone makes me think he'll rape and kill me, then give me Double Ds and throw my body in the East River. A few other tid bits that just annoyed me to the point where I don't even have to click on his profile to see what a fucking weirdo this one is:

1. His grammar is awful! I mean, it's obvious English is not his first language, but you're a "breast surgeon!" Don't they teach you grammar at breast surgery school?
2. He likes his ladies spontaneous and he doesn't like to tell them what to do. Okay... that right there makes me think that he's now a wife beater and secretly trying to hide his frying pan tendencies.
3. Back to the grammar... I can't on this one. He uses the word "shall" so much that I feel like I'm reading Bible verses!
4. He says he just saw the movie "Take The Lead," and was really inspired by it. Which, I guess, is why he's on a dating website.
5. Okay... one more grammar one. He would be "more than glad if you kindly join me on yahoo/MSN messenger." And also, does no one use AIM? I have YET to have anyone ask me what my screen name is, which is actually a blessing, come to think of it.

I think I'll have to pass on this "breast surgeon."

-Jessica